Title: Lost Soul: AJ's Burden
Series: Healing Hearts #4
Author: Nicky James
Genre: M/M Romance
Release Date: October 22, 2017
What does rock bottom look like to you?
AJ Silva is about to find out. His life has been spiralling the drain for the past year, and if he doesn't find a way out soon, he may die on the streets of San Francisco. Drowning in a severe drug addiction, battling every day to survive, AJ doesn't know where to turn. His past haunts him in more ways than one, and leaves him both grasping and begging for change, while fearing his future. All AJ knows how to do is chase one problem away with another. How can you win the war, when your enemy is yourself?
Trystain Larsson is an addict. Five years ago, he discovered rock bottom first hand. Since that dreaded day, he's worked his recovery with everything he has. Helping others who've fallen victim to drugs gives him hope for a better tomorrow. If he can save even one person from that life, it will mean victory.
When AJ lands at his doorstep, Trystain gets more than he bargained for. Not only is AJ at the end of his rope, but there is something darker going on.
Coming off drugs is not an easy task, and with AJ, Trystain has his work cut out for him. During their time together, a bond that goes deeper than friendship grows.
Will mistakes from the past be barriers for the future? It's hard to move forward, when you can't stop looking back.
5 Stars
Trystain comes home from work one night to find AJ passed out on his doorstep high as a kite. He sees so much of himself in AJ and can’t bring himself to just walk away, so brings him inside his home to clean him up and offer him help if he’d like to get tackle his drug addiction. AJ, of course, leaves after a shower and some food, but Trystain can’t stop thinking about him. Eventually, driven by the need to finally get clean, AJ finds himself back at Trystain’s door desperate for his help.
I’ve read a few of Nicky’s books and they are always gut wrenching and sad, but while this story was sad and the subject matter wasn’t easy to read about at times, Trystain and AJ’s story had a more hopeful vibe about it. This book wasn’t as dark as the others and focused more on the recovery rather than the extreme self-destruction feathered in some of the other books by this author.
I absolutely loved both Trystain and AJ, and the chemistry between them was undeniable. I loved the progression of their relationship, it was natural and organic, sweet and passionate. I loved the determination of both men and their support of one another. Although Trystain has been clean for five years, he still has struggles and AJ is there to help him over the huddles and vice versa. These two men were a real team and they worked well together, both as friends and later as lovers.
I am an absolute fan girl of this author’s work and haven’t come across a book that I haven’t absolutely loved and although they normally tear me apart, I keep coming back for more. I haven’t been disappointed yet and this story was no exception. It was a well-written and emotionally driven story with characters you couldn’t help but root for. I wanted Trystain and AJ to get their HEA, but I wasn’t quite ready to let them go yet. I was satisfied in the end, but left wanting so much more. This was a really enjoyable read and highly recommended!
*copy provided by author/publisher in exchange for an honest review*
5 Stars!!!
I will admit I was almost afraid of reading this book. After reading the previous three installments in the series and the blurb, I thought Nicky James was about to crush me and leave me dead in the wake of AJ's story, however, while the book has some heartbreaking portions, it's not as angsty as I expected, it's not even as angsty as the previous books, so if that's stopping you from reading it, please don't, you'll be missing out otherwise.
AJ ends up at Trystain's doorstep unconscious and drugged out of his mind and Trystain, seeing himself in AJ decides to help him and brings him into his apartment. However, AJ isn't ready to be helped yet and goes back to his own apartment and the drugs he takes refuge in.
After a while, AJ decides he's finally ready to seek help and Trystain takes him in. It isn't easy for either of them and there's more going on with AJ than just his addiction, but Trystain is determined to be there for him every step of the way.
I loved both Trystain and AJ, their backstories were heartbreaking and I just wanted to cuddle them both and make it better. Trystain had such a strength of character and such an easy, friendly way to him and it was nice to see how that helped AJ accept his help. AJ was a sweetheart and stronger than he believed as well, it can't be easy to battle with addiction, especially being faced with temptation so soon after getting clean, and yet, he managed. I adored the slow burn and the progression of both their friendship and how it deepened into more, it was believable and beautiful to see how their relationship grew. They were both sweet and hot and so perfect for each other.
Nicky James did a fantastic job describing AJ under the influence and his journey, it felt realistic and well-researched. Same as everything that Trystain did to help him and his own struggle with addiction even after five years of being clean.
Overall, I can't recommend this book enough. It was brilliantly written, moderately angsty, sweet and emotionally charged and I just couldn't get enough of AJ and Trystain. Highly recommendable!
*** Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
4.5 Stars!
How do I even begin to write this review? I’m sitting here grateful for the happy and sweet ending, yet the emotional trip I took while reading this story is still sitting heavily on me. I love these types of books, stories that have me crying and feeling as if I desperately want to help the characters. They are such realistic struggles, realistic characters, these are the things so many people face every single day. I’ve known addicts, seen it first hand. I’ve been close to people who could’ve been a Trystain or an AJ and I’ve lost some of these people close to me as well. I think Nicky James did a wonderful job writing this story and giving us such a vivid picture of these men and their lives.
Trystain sucked me in from the very beginning, I immediately fell in love with him. He was such a sweet, loving, caring and good man. His pain and vulnerability were always right on the surface and I felt such a pull to him, a connection to his character that I couldn’t deny. He stole my heart with the way he was with all the people in his life. From Blake to the Kids at Blue to AJ, a stranger who fell into his life and changed everything.
I liked AJ, I felt awful for what he’d been through and wished he’d had a better life. However, I didn’t find myself as connected to him as I did with Trystain. There was almost this wall I felt with him that I personally couldn’t get past and it made it hard for me to completely get a clear picture of him. I did love that he brought Trystain back into the world since he was still living with his defenses up.
Overall, I highly recommend this book. It was well written and thought out. The characters were real and complex and the story truly pulls us in. It’s not an easy read and covers some very heavy and dark subject matter, resonating through with most of us, whether you’ve seen such things first hand or not.
***Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie by the author/publisher for my reading pleasure in hopes of an unbiased opinion, a review was not a requirement.***
Nicky has always had two profound dreams in life; to fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world and to write novels. Since only one of those dreams was a possibility, she decided to make the other come alive on paper.
Nicky writes MM romance books in a variety of styles including contemporary, medieval, fantasy, and historical.
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