Virtual Tour ~ Unquiet by Melanie Hansen ~ (5 Star Review, Excerpt + Giveaway)
Enter to Win a
$50.00 eGift Card to Choice Book Seller
(Amazon, B&N or iTunes)
UNQUIET
Resilient Love #3
Melanie Hansen
Releasing on January 22, 2016.
Dreamspinner Press
Loren Smith has been in love with Eliot Devlin almost his
entire life. During their turbulent childhood and teen years, Loren didn’t
always understand Eliot, and sometimes he could be a challenge, but Eliot was
the only one to ever truly ease Loren’s deep loneliness and accept him. When
Eliot’s increasingly erratic and self-destructive behavior culminates in a
suicide attempt at seventeen, Loren is devastated.
Upon meeting again by chance nine years later, Loren is
enjoying a successful career as a police officer while Eliot’s life has been a
constant struggle for stability. In and out of mental hospitals, with a rap
sheet a mile long, he continues to be buffeted by the twin storms of mania and
depression. Loren’s love and protectiveness for Eliot are deeply ingrained in
him, however, and their feelings for each other are quickly rekindled.
Loren has issues of his own he’s dealing with, and trying
to understand and cope with Eliot’s bipolar disorder isn’t easy. They believe
they’re meant to be, and Eliot brings a fulfillment to Loren’s life that no one
else will ever match. But as they both come to realize, love by itself can’t
cure all.
Excerpt
When they woke the next morning, they packed an overnight bag and headed north on I-17. Eliot was amazed at the view out his window, craggy rocks and towering saguaro cactus eventually giving way to the pine trees of the Coconino National Forest.
In Flagstaff they stopped for gas, and both of them shivered at the cold bite in the air. They ran by a sporting goods store to buy some fleece pullovers, and Eliot goofed off with a couple of plaid hunting caps, complete with fuzzy earflaps. He grinned at Loren, trying to keep the hat from falling forward into his eyes.
“You look about twelve years old,” Loren said drily. “That hat swallows you whole.”
As Loren reached out to take it off of him, he stroked his thumb along Eliot’s cheek.
“I love to see you smile, to see you happy,” he whispered. He grabbed a simple knit cap and pulled it over Eliot’s head, fussing with it a minute before saying, “Much better.” Eliot scanned the room and, not seeing anyone, stretched up to give Loren a kiss.
Soon they were on the road again heading north, and Loren took Eliot’s hand, twining their fingers together and resting their joined hands on his knee. Eliot could sense Loren was turning something over in his mind, so he just waited.
“Are you happy, El?” Loren finally asked. “I’ve seen so many different incarnations of your moods, but I honestly don’t know if I’d recognize happiness in you.” His voice held a faint note of apology for asking, and Eliot glanced at him, surprised but pleased by Loren’s candor.
“I don’t know if I’d recognize happiness either, Loren,” he admitted, rubbing his thumb over the back of Loren’s hand when he threw Eliot a stricken look. “Hey, hey,” Eliot said reassuringly. “I don’t mean that the way it sounds.”
Eliot blew out a breath, thinking about how to explain this. Loren waited, but his lips were pressed together in a tight line, and Eliot squeezed his fingers.
“Usually when I wake up in the morning, I’m afraid,” he said slowly, and Loren opened his mouth to speak but then didn’t say anything. Eliot glanced at him again, then continued, “I feel the craziness, the madness lurking, just waiting for me. It feels like it’s attached to me, that when I get out of bed, I’m dragging it with me. It’s always there, ready to pounce and swallow me up.”
“Oh, El,” Loren whispered achingly.
Eliot stroked his hand. “And this morning when I woke up, I wasn’t afraid. I think that’s what it feels like to be happy. It’s enough for me.”
Loren didn’t say anything, but a lone tear slid down his cheek. Eliot reached up and wiped it away with his thumb, stroking Loren’s jaw tenderly.
“What’s the matter, honey?”
Just then the sign for a scenic lookout appeared, and Loren took the exit, parking the truck. He stared through the windshield, blinking fast, more tears welling up.
“The thought of you for all those years, waking up afraid,” he whispered brokenly. “And I wasn’t there, Eliot. I wasn’t there.” Eliot could see Loren’s throat working as he fought not to cry, and with a soft exclamation, Eliot opened his arms, gathering him close. He stroked Loren’s hair, feeling the hot wetness of tears against his neck.
“But you were there, Loren. Shhh,” he murmured.
When Loren calmed a little, Eliot pulled back and took Loren’s face in his hands, forcing him to meet his eyes.
“I’ve been in a lot of therapy over the years, and they always ask me the same thing, what my best memories are, what memories do I have of feeling happy or safe. I’m supposed to bring them to mind when I’m stressed or scared or angry. It’s part of cognitive therapy, learning to readjust your thinking, to focus on good things and not negative things.”
Eliot caressed Loren’s face. “And Loren, there’s a lot I don’t remember, but what I do, every single one of those types of memories is about you. Being kids, riding our bikes, playing with toys, laughing at stupid jokes. Then later the way you held me in the dark after a nightmare or sat with me when I was so sad and hurting that I wanted to die. The way you—the way you loved me, loved my batshit crazy and fucked-up mess.
“You’ve always been with me, Loren, through my memories. Always.”
Loren completely lost it then, and Eliot let him cry it out, murmuring to him, rocking him, reveling in being the one to comfort, to soothe, of being able to shore up the man he loved when he needed it.
Finally the storm passed and Loren pulled away, sitting up and scrubbing his hands over his face.
“I’m glad, El,” he said hoarsely, clearing his throat several times before starting the truck and pulling back onto the interstate. “I’m glad I’m your best memories.”
5 Stars
**copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie by the author/publisher in exchange for an honest review**We meet Loren and Eliot when they are just six years old. They quickly become the best of friends. Both sets of parents love their children, but work demanding jobs, and are rarely home. We watch as these two young boys grow and change. Eliot has always been a little loud and kind of weird, but as he gets to his teen years his behavior becomes increasingly erratic and promiscuous. Loren recognizes something isn't right, but his fears are ignored for the most part by Eliot's parents. As the relationship progresses it moves from a deep friendship to love, but their chances at a HEA are ripped away when Eliot attempts suicide. They are torn apart and go their separate ways, until 9 years later by chance they meet up again. Can they still get their HEA?
I knew just from the synopsis this would be an emotional story. Melanie didn't disappoint. It was so heartbreaking to watch Eliot spiral so far out of control. Eliot's mental illness was well researched and realistic. I love that when the story ends, like any true person with a mental illness it's still an everyday struggle. Things aren't perfect for either of these men or their relationship and they never will be. They have to fight and sacrifice everyday to make it work.
This story was very well written. It flowed well and the characters are well developed. As I said the book is very realistically written and at times extremely heartbreaking. But the love that these two men share is powerful and I'm grateful to have been able to take this journey with Loren and Eliot. I love Melanie's writing and look forward to much more in the future!
Highly recommended!!
Melanie Hansen has spent time in Texas and
Florida prisons…for work. She’s been in a room with a 17-year-old mass murderer
who was also one of the most soft-spoken and polite teenagers she’s ever met.
After a 13-year career as a court reporter, she can tell many stories both
hilarious and heartbreaking.
She grew up with an Air Force dad, and ended up marrying
a Navy man. After living and working all over the country, she hopes to bring
these rich and varied life experiences to her stories about people finding love
amidst real-life struggles.
Melanie left the stressful world of the courtroom behind
and now enjoys a rewarding career transcribing for a deaf student. She
currently lives in Arizona with her husband and two sons.
Don't Miss the other Resilient Love Romances
