Looking Forward
Michael Bailey
Gay Fiction
258 Pages
Release Date: 08.22.18
Cover Design: Jay Aheer
BLURB:
Owen Hannity was nineteen when he lost almost everyone he thought he could trust. Each loss more painful than the last.
With the unwavering support of his best friend, Andy, Owen put the pieces of his life back together. Now, more than two decades later, Owen owns and operates a successful comic shop. Despite his modicum of success, he still feels like a shell of a man, carrying the emotional scars from his past.
Without warning, Owen’s past returns. Secrets come to light. Secrets that could either destroy Owen or finally give him the strength to re-evaluate everything he thought he knew about Andy, himself, and the way in which he views the world.
To see that he is truly worthy of loving himself and finally begin…
…Looking Forward.
Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2Mwajgw
Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2PA2FPM
Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/2w8oyhc
EXCERPT
I shook even more as I picked up the handset and dialed the ten digits for his area code and phone number. The call wouldn’t connect. I feared for a moment that he had purposely given me the wrong number. Maybe he didn’t want me calling him after all. Then I remembered, since this was long distance, I had to dial the number one first.
I laid the receiver back into the cradle and scrubbed my hand through my hair, willing myself to calm down. Jack wouldn’t be able to see my fear from over the phone, but there was every likelihood that he would be able to hear it.
I took the receiver out of the cradle and dialed the eleven digits. My heart beat faster as the phone rang, and I almost chickened out and hung up.
Almost.
The other end was picked up on the fourth ring. A woman answered, clearly out of breath. “Hello.”
I was momentarily confused. In my head, he would answer, and we would spend my break catching up. I had not expected someone else to answer, especially not a woman.
What if she was his girlfriend? How would I explain myself?
“Hello?” she repeated.
He wouldn’t have given me his number if he didn’t think it would be safe for me to call. Or at least, that’s what I reasoned.
“Is Jack in?”
“Yeah. Hold on a sec.”
Then I heard her muffle the mouthpiece, but I was still able to hear her call his name.
Soon enough, I heard a voice that I recognized coming from the other end. “Hello?”
“Jack?” I said, still slightly confused, and hoping that I hadn’t just caused some problem for him by calling.
“Speaking.”
“Jack, it’s Owen.”
I heard his breath catch on the other end of the phone line, and there was a second or two of delay. Panic started to bloom. This was a mistake. He wouldn’t remember me. Why would he? I was just some kid from Toledo that he’d met in a bar weeks ago. I’d allowed too much time to pass and had lost any chance I had, if I’d had any at all. “Owen?”
I twisted the phone cord around my finger, an old habit I’d developed when I was nervous on the phone. That panic came full force at his question. He didn’t remember me. This call was pointless. “From Toledo,” I reminded him.
Jack chuckled. “I remember. I don’t meet too many Owens.”
Some of that panic eased off but didn’t dissipate entirely. This could still go horribly wrong very quickly. I still didn’t know what I was doing calling him. What if that connection I had felt the night before Thanksgiving was all in my head? I’d be the fool that had placed the call. He’d talk about me to all his friends, tell them about this little homo that was stalking him from the other side of the state. They’d all laugh at my expense, and I’d never know. Or he could tell Andy, and he’d never let me forget how I’d basically come on to his straight cousin.
Yet, he had given me his number. And those words. I reread the napkin. Can you feel it?
I paused, pulling in a deep breath and slowly exhaling. I could do this. This wasn’t a big deal if I didn’t make it one. “No, I can’t imagine you do. It’s not a very common name.”
“No, it’s not. It’s very memorable.”
“I was actually named after my grandfather, if you can believe that.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Sort of a family tradition. My father is named after his grandfather, and my grandfather after his. It’s weird.”
“No, not really. It’s actually kind of cool. Like, legacy. You have a connection to your family that will never go away.”
“I never thought of it like that. I’ve honestly always hated the name.” And wasn’t that a total bitch. If my father ever found out that his only son was gay, he would totally disown me, and I’d still have this name.
“You shouldn’t. It’s unique. It sets you apart. How many people have you known named Jack?”
I laughed. “That’s true. A lot.”
“Exactly my point. In a world full of Jacks, be an Owen.”
Why did that warm my heart so much?
~ 5 Stars ~
I personally didn’t like this book as much as I absolutely and completely loved the first book (Looking In). But I still think this book is worthy of 5 stars, which might not make sense but I will try to explain why…
The way this book was written came across really solid on page. This author definitely knows how to tell us and deliver us a great story. I liked how we were given completely described in-depth details on the full story and background as to what happened to these characters in their lives to make them into who they are. We got to see their struggles and accomplishments. Even when their story was painstaking and heartbreaking to read. This book was wonderful and felt real, and made me emotional even when it wasn’t in the best way. You really get pulled into the storyline and the character’s lives in a really deep way which shows you how amazing the book really is. I loved the ending of this book and I thought that was a great redeeming moment these characters got to have after having to travel such a long and hard road to get to that point.
My personal thoughts and opinion…..
I Hated Jack… Hated with a Passion, from the deepest parts of my soul I just hated everything about him. He was a selfish user of a jerk and doesn’t deserve any form of HEA and I hope he lives the rest of his life miserable and alone forced to watch everyone else get their HEA's. Literally, everything about him annoyed me from the first time we met him to the very end of the book when Owen finally lets his rage out to tell him how he really feels. I am astonished that it went on that long before it came to blows.
I also wasn’t super impressed with Owen, who is ultimately the main character of this book. He was just too much of a doormat for my taste, just letting life just pass him by waiting around on what “could have” happened, to not see what was in front of him the entire 25 years that pass in this book. I mean I know some things are hard to confront and hard to hear, but damn... 25 years later is long enough to get the full truth when it’s basically already staring you in the face (Jace). I was impressed that he could pull himself together long enough to create such an amazing business. That was really my favorite and only part about him I liked, that he was finally able to create his stand-in family from that part of his life. I just really wish it would have happened earlier on for him to experience that happiness for longer.
And, finally Andy… Poor Andy, I really think he got the short end of the stick all around when it came to friends and family, they all just sucked, and he was left cleaning up all their messes. I am just glad that it all turned out ok for him in the end, he was the character I was most worried about. I wanted him to get a HEA and he fully deserved it.
P.s. I really hope that Jace gets a book next and I really want him to end up with Greg. But I think that as long as Greg finds and re-connects with his lost brother in any shape and form I would totally be happy with however that turns out.
*** Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. ***
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I'm the oldest of three, from the Glass Capital of the world, Toledo Ohio.
Don't laugh too hard.
I've dreamed of writing since I was eleven years old when I wrote a truly awful Choose-Your-Own-Adventure. It sold exactly zero copies. I think my mother may have a copy lying around somewhere. Mothers keep that kind of thing.
Through junior high and high school, I wrote a number of short stories, one actually published in the first (and only) issue of his high school's literary magazine.
Life took control shortly thereafter, as it often does, and the dream of writing was put on hold. Then, in November of 2016, I took a leap of faith, and began writing my first novel as part of the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) competition. The goal of the competition is to write a 50,000-word novel in a thirty-day period.
I failed.
However, on the advice of a friend, I "pushed through". And so, in September of 2017, my first novel was published.
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