Friday, June 2, 2017

Blog Tour: Sex Ed by ZB Heller (Review+Excerpt)

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Sex Ed, an all-new HOT and hilarious M/M comedy from Z.B. Heller is now available!!!

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Sex Ed by Z.B. Heller 

Publication Date: May 31st, 2017 

Genre: Contemporary MM Romance


Jaxson Dane is harboring a secret.

Not the fact that he’s a geeky comic book lover, or that he secretly draws his own comic, Bunny Fu Ninja Warrior. It’s not even classified information that he’s out and proud!

 His secret is the shame that he’s a twenty-three-year-old virgin.

Jaxson isn’t waiting for marriage or even afraid of taking that step, he just hasn’t found the one guy who will accept all of his adorkable qualities. Due to an unfortunate mishap with a self-pleasuring apparatus and his favorite appendage, Jaxson meets Tyler Mason. The emerald-green-eyed nurse is a witness to the mortifying incident, leaving Jaxon both grateful and disappointed in their one-time meeting.

And then Tyler somehow shows up at Jaxon’s family dinner.

The very dinner at which Jaxson’s hidden virginity is revealed to everyone, including the captivating nurse.

Even though he secretly found the ER situation hilarious, Tyler is also able to look past it to see Jaxson’s genuine nature and is drawn to the charming and hapless comic book artist. He’s tempted to pursue the inexperienced Jaxson, but a recent and life-altering decision puts a damper on his wants and desires. However, the more time they spent together, the more willing he is to take the risk of juggling his new commitments and winning Jaxon’s affections.

A large, insane, and meddlesome family, two prying co-workers, and a sexy nurse are all trying to give Jaxson a crash course in Sex Ed. Will he pass?

Excerpt:

I opened the nightstand and found the toy I had ordered online. A guy I knew from one of the comic forums I belonged to swore by this toy. All right, maybe we talked about all types of things and not just comics on this particular forum. One time there might have been a discussion about which character we would bang and it sort of went off the cliff from there. My choice would be Superman because I have a dream of being plowed while flying at the same time. My second choice would be Spiderman, because I would be curious as to what he could do with all that webbing. Maybe a little Spidey BDSM play?

The toy which sat in my hand was called The Jackhammer. The tag line on the construction-yellow box read, Giving you a Hand at Jacking Off. The man pictured on the box was wearing a hard hat with only the Jackhammer covering his essential parts. His face was contorted into orgasmic pleasure.

 I opened the box and pulled out a plastic object that was about ten inches long. The toy was bright, school bus yellow, with one wide end that narrowed towards the bottom, giving it the illusion of a jackhammer. The fuller end was covered in a clear, soft silicone, with a hole in the middle, which I assumed is where your dick was supposed to go. I threw the box on the floor and lay down on my bed, propping a pillow under my head and making myself comfortable.
With vigorous excitement, I grabbed my stiff dick again and slipped the Jackhammer over the crown, slowly bringing it down the shaft. It felt comfortable and effortless as I wiggled it down until it hit the base. Inside of the toy, the ridges of the silicone made my already sensitive dick want to explode.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I pulled the toy painstakingly back up the shaft. I moaned and fisted my hand around the outside, so I could get a good grip on the toy to move it up and down. I looked down to see my shaft appear and then disappear again, the ridged edges inside rubbed against my skin, blessing me with exquisite pleasure.

 I closed my eyes and brought myself back to the hypothetical frat house. Kaleb’s throbbing cock jutted out in front of me, waiting for me to take it into my watering mouth. The other brothers surround us, pulling out their own cocks to stroke while they looked upon Kaleb and I. Kaleb grabbed the base of his cock, clutched a handful of my hair and said, “open up.”  Of course, I did, because I wasn’t going to deny Fantasy Kaleb. I let him fuck my mouth as I took him all the way down my throat. In this make believe world I had no gag reflex and some pretty mad oral skills.

I pulled the Jackhammer faster along my length as I started to feel the familiar sensation of an orgasm settling at the base of my spine. My balls drew upwards and I knew that I was going to blow my load any minute. I moved the toy faster, its suction tightening around me.

Then it happened. Pain. A pain like none I had ever known, almost paralyzing my body. My eyes flew open and a shriek erupted out of my mouth like a coyote being attacked by a T-rex. I lifted my head, almost afraid to look down, and tried to move the toy slightly, but was unable to, pain searing from the tip of my dick, down the shaft, and into my groin.

Holy mother-fucking douche mongers.

My heart flipped from racing with pleasure to running in fear. I started to panic while I tried again to delicately remove the toy. After several failed attempts I knew I was screwed. With precise, delicate movements, I sat up on the bed, reached to the floor and grab the box the toy came in. I examined it and searched if there was a secret release to get this fucker off. I flipped the box over, scanning the words until I saw some directions I failed to read.
Must use lubricant inside silicone to avoid rupture.

Rupture of what? My dick? Holy shit, I had a ruptured dick! I don’t want to walk around having my dick split in half. What would that mean if I had to pee? Would it go into two different streams? Do people understand how hard it is to point and aim one stream? Now I’ll have two to worry about? What about sex? Will I stick one-half of my dick inside someone while jerking the other side off? Oh, the humanity!
   SEXED-AN 10.41.55 AM

Read Today!

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5 Stars

When a mishap with a sex toy lands Jaxson in the ER, he meets Tyler, a sexy nurse. There is something about Jaxson that calls to Tyler, but Tyler isn't sure he is ready for a relationship with Jaxson with the life changes he's recently had to face, yet he isn't so sure he can resist him either.

I'll start by saying I have never laughed so hard or so much while reading a book. This story was hilarious! I absolutely loved Jaxson and Tyler. They were such lovable characters. The story was entertaining, well-written and paced well. Jaxson is one of those characters that you say "it can only happen to you". The situations he finds himself in are entertaining and out of this world funny.

"I went to Reed’s office and threw my messenger bag down. The room always smelled like pot, mostly because Reed, a thirty-two-year-old man, was high about ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent was when he was sleeping, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he tried to find a way to be stoned then, too. After I dropped my stuff, I quickly looked through the new boxes and then went to the front of the store to start my day. The store hadn’t opened yet, but as soon as I walked in, four pairs of eyes zoomed straight toward me. There stood Reed, Jeff, Ethan—who worked at the store part time for some extra cash while going to school—, and Sophie. She usually hung around because she was my sister, and she got off on annoying everyone else, especially Ethan and Jeff. The mood of the room seemed dire, like the time Jeff’s beloved hamster, Gunther, died after he devoured one of Reed’s joints in his office. Jeff had mourned the hamster’s death, while Reed mourned the loss of the stash that he paid a ridiculous amount for. Something about it being a unique hybrid of two types of plants or something weird like that. The hamster, Gunther, ended up at the store after Jeff’s little brother, Tommy, tried to give it a bath in the toilet. Gunther almost went down the drain when Tommy flushed the toilet to rinse him off. Jeff’s mother caught Tommy as the accidental hamster slaughter was about to occur and was ready to release Gunther into the wild. Tommy became inconsolable, so Jeff offered to keep him at the store, telling his brother he could visit Gunther anytime he wanted. Two years later and Jeff was still making excuses to Tommy on why he couldn’t come to the store, instead of confessing the truth of Gunther's demise."

This book is filled with a host of secondary characters that add even more hilarity to the story through their witty banter. The romance between Jaxson and Tyler moved at a natural and organic pace. They had an amazing chemistry and connection. While the story is a slow burn, it's still filled with steamy and swoon-worthy moments. This was a low angst, sweet and enjoyable romance I'd highly recommend. I just wouldn't recommend reading it in public. People look funny at you when you're laughing uncontrollably!! :D

* Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. *


About the Author:

As a little girl it was always a dream for Z.B. Heller to become She-Ra Princess of Power. Since this dream was unattainable, she spent what was probably way too long in college trying to “find herself”. Becoming an artist scratched the creative itch until the stories in her head were getting to be to loud for her to get anything else accomplished.
She lives in St. Louis with her husband, son and Flemish Giant rabbit Chloe. In her spare time she likes to read, stalk celebrities on Twitter and create the type of art people scratch their heads about. 
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Connect with the Author:

Twitter: @ZBHeller

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